A Woman's Valor Blog

New Life in God

Wed, 07 May 2025 06:20:15 GMT

Two Forms of New Life

While on Retreat with my church, we were encouraged to find a place of solitude and be still in the presence of God. As I found my space, I noticed a tree stump nearby. There was nothing left of it to show any resemblance of the tree that once stood, yet it had new growth coming out of one side and flowers on the verge of blooming.

During a time when Israel was experiencing destruction and exile because of their rebellion and disobedience, God still brought a message of hope in the form of a tree stump.

Isaiah 6:13 (TPT) says “Yet if even a tenth remains there, it will be burned again. It will be like a fallen oak or terebinth tree when it is felled; the stump still lives to grow again. Now the stump is the holy seed.”

The oak and terebinth trees are both known to be able to produce new shoots even after they’ve been cut down to a stump. Isaiah is describing the stump as “the seed of holiness,” meaning it’s not the end but a new beginning.

As you read through this, I encourage you to identify how it may relate to your life and the season you’re in.

New Life in God

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19 NIV

“I am doing something brand new, something unheard of.

Even now it sprouts and grows and matures. Don’t you perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness and open up flowing streams in the desert.”

Isaiah 43:19 TPT

As I sit amongst the trees, I can’t help but notice how much life is springing up through the remnants of death left behind by the harsh winter or storms that have passed.

There are countless trees that have fallen, telling stories of faltered strength, shallow roots, or death that consumed them from inside. The ground is littered with branches that disconnected from their tree of life. No longer able to withstand the storm, their legacy is all that remains.

With every step taken, the crisp crunch of the fallen leaves fills the air. There are thousands of them who once clothed the trees with their beauty and danced as the wind whispered their name. They now cover the ground, just a memory of the life they once reflected.

As I look up, there are still a few clinging to the branch that gave them life. They’ll remain there until that final gust of wind comes and carries them away for good, no longer able to hold on.

Yet, in that same moment, there is life springing up all around me. It is in the white blooming dogwood, a stark contrast to the browns and greys surrounding them. You can see it in the bright green leaves as new growth appears on the trees that endured the harsh winter. You can even hear it as the birds cry out and frogs and crickets sing.

Pictures taken at Retreat

As I soak in the beauty around me, I notice something that causes me to pause; there are two forms of new life emerging. The first is the same life being reborn. This is found in the flowers and leaves emerging on the trees that sustain them.

The other is a new, different form of life springing up from the death that was left behind. This can be seen in the moss growing on the bark of a fallen tree and in the little purple flowers emerging from the dead leaves scattered across the ground.

As I pause and silently reflect, I hear God whisper, “Sometimes the new life is a resurrection of things that appear to have died. Other times, something entirely new springs forth from the remnants of what death left behind. Don’t be afraid if the new life springing up inside you looks different. It might be my way of redeeming what brought death to your life and using it for good and my Glory.”

Four Soils, Four Stages of Discipleship

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 04:28:28 GMT

A Letter to All Followers of Jesus

To my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ,

I am writing today to encourage you to go “all in” for Christ. This doesn’t mean merely believing that He is the Son of God, but living a life in full reverent submission to His will. To provide a deeper understanding of this, I want to offer a different perspective on the Parable of the Sower found in the Book of Luke in Chapter 8. Each of the four soil types in this parable represent four stages of discipleship: Belief, Faith, Trust, and Obedience. Each of those four stages have the potential to produce a different outcome in our lives.

The First Stage

The first stage in our relationship with Christ is Belief or Salvation represented by the seed that falls along the path. This seed is at risk of being trampled on or eaten by the birds. Luke 8:12 explains that “those along the path are those who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so they may not believe and be saved.” If you resist the devil and do not allow him to steal the word, or Good News, from your heart, and you believe that Christ is the Son of God who gave His life as a sacrifice for our sins, you are given the gift of Salvation. If the devil does steal the word, and you do not believe, you will be condemned to the lake of fire and apart from God for eternity.

The Second Stage

The second stage of discipleship is Faith represented by the seeds that fall on the rocky ground. These seeds spring up but have shallow roots and wither in the scorching sun. Luke 8:13 explains that “those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.” Hebrews 11:6 explains, “And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Our Faith must be deeply rooted in Christ. If we do not seek him with all of our heart and put our Faith solely in Him, we will not be able to withstand the trials of life without the risk of falling away. However, if our Faith is rooted in Christ, the word in our heart will grow and be sustained by the “Living Water” even when the sun (the trials of life) is relentlessly beating down on us.

The Third Stage

The third stage is Trust represented by the seeds that fall among the thorns. As the seed grows, the thorns also grow, choking the seed and not allowing it to mature. This is an example of someone who hears and accepts the word, but is consumed by worldly worries, desires, riches, or pleasures (Luke 8:14). If we are truly disciples of Christ, we should not be partaking in the things of the world. Anything that is not of God or does not allow God to hold his rightful place on the throne in our lives should not continue to hold a place in our heart. If allowed to remain in our lives, they will grow and cause us to take our eyes off of Christ, focusing instead on the things or the worries of the world. When we earnestly seek God above all else, we begin to Trust in his word and his character. Then, when faced with trials or temptations, we can remain focused on Him, not the thorns and our Faith matures. We Trust that he will provide, we Trust that he will protect, and we Trust that he is Lord over everything and every situation.

The Fourth Stage

The fourth stage of discipleship is Obedience represented by the seed that falls in good soil. It grows to maturity and produces fruit, 100 times more than what was sown. The good soil is our willingness to lay down our own desires, selfish ambitions, fear, rebellion, and all other gods (anything we put on the throne in our life that is not Christ) and take up our cross to follow him. Christ’s example must be reflected in our own lives for us to fully mature and produce fruit. This can be represented by the Fruit of the Spirit, gifts or talents that are given to us, or by bringing more people into the knowledge, acceptance and obedience of Christ. Isaiah 1:18-20 states, “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and Obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” James 1:21-22 instructs us to “get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”

Final Plea

Jesus walked in reverent submission and remained obedient to the Father even in his death. His obedience brought life and freedom through the cross defeating the evil principalities and rulers of the nations. Because of his obedience, Jesus opened the door to generational blessings for those who truly know and follow him. In John 15:10 Jesus says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Fathers commands and remain in his love.” 1 John 2:3-6 states, “We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not keep his commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in him. Whoever claims to live in him, must live as Jesus did.”

Therefore, brothers and sisters, I urge you to earnestly pursue the maturing of your deep rooted faith in Christ. Consume the word and walk in obedience to it. Do not entertain the pleasures or worries of this world. Instead, set Christ in his rightful place on the throne in your heart, declaring his Lordship over your life. For Jesus is the one true King, the ruler over all of Heaven and Earth.

A Writer's Cause

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 02:37:00 GMT

I Didn't See It Coming

I avoided writing like one would attempt to avoid a pothole in the road. Inevitably, when you’re focused on the mile long list of things you need to do, or you become distracted by the chaos that seems abundant, you hit it anyway. It’s not a light bump either, just enough to get your attention. No, it’s an all-out assault on your vehicle and you’re left trying to figure out, “What just happened?” I certainly didn’t see it coming, but writing has impacted my life in more ways than I ever imagined.

I write to find peace

In the midst of the storm,

Stillness and strength

For a soul forlorn.

I write to unyoke images

From the bondage of my mind.

To find freedom in the words

From those I left behind.

I write to remember

Echoes of the past.

If not written down

Those tales will never last.

I write to encourage

Those that come behind

To use these words of hope

And live a life refined.

Write for Life

Everyone Needs a Friend

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 23:56:27 GMT

Unexpected Impact

Almost home. The day had been long, the traffic was heavy, but there were only a few more blocks before I would finally reach my destination. That’s when I saw him for the first time. Isolated and alone, his pronounced posture spoke of the deep sadness that consumed him. I couldn’t shake the image of him standing there rejected, abandoned, forgotten. Every day, for weeks after that first encounter, an anxious anticipation would accompany me on the drive home. Would this be the day that things would be different? Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be his story.

The separation began to take its toll. After several weeks, he no longer attempted to hold his head up, the weight of his situation had become too much to bear. At least that’s what I imagined was taking place. My heart ached. I wanted so badly to tell him that he wasn’t alone and that he mattered, at least to me. Why couldn’t he be with the rest of cows in the field on the other side of the driveway? Afterall, he needed a friend too.

I know what you must be thinking, “A cow?!?! Seriously? Who cares!?”

Living in a rural area, it’s not uncommon to see a field full of cows, but never one that left such a profound impact on my life. I didn’t know the reason this particular cow was in a field by itself. I didn’t even know if it was a male or female, but I was certain that it was sad and very lonely. He needed a friend, of that, I was sure!

Just as I imagined a sadness overtaking him, I was consumed with the idea that everyone and everything needed somebody, especially this cow. Days became weeks. Weeks turned into months. Life settled back into a cycle of challenges and small victories, but every time I drove past that field there was only one thing on my mind.

“He needs a friend!”

We moved away from that little house and eventually the memory of the lonely cow began to fade. I no longer had the visual reminder to distract me from the daily grind. The pressures of starting a new job and learning my way around a different town consumed much of my time. After a while, my old friend seemed to be nothing more than a distant memory. Then it happened, the moment I realized how significantly a single cow had affected my life.

The day started out like any other. I finished work and headed home, stopping only to pick up what we would make for dinner that night. I likely walked around the store for 30 minutes looking for an idea that sounded appetizing or a quick fix that would require the least amount of effort to pull off. After completing the purchase and loading the groceries into the car, I took the shopping cart to the nearest cart return location. It was empty; the cart I used would be the only one if I returned it there. Without hesitation, I turned away and searched for the next closest cart return that already had some in the location.

“It has to have a friend.”

I didn’t realize what took place until after I got back to my vehicle and sat down.

“Did I REALLY just do that?”

I couldn’t contain the laughter that was exploding inside of me. My old friend, the lonely cow, was back, only this time, it was a shopping cart!

I’m sure we all have stories about strange habits that people do, but none were as ridiculous as this one, and “I” was the person doing it! In that moment, I wondered how long I was only returning carts to locations that were already occupied without even realizing my actions. Acknowledging this bizarre obsession did little to change it. Every time I went shopping, I absolutely refused to return the cart to an empty location. It was happening so frequently; it became a joke within my family.

“I had to put it by its friends,” I would say as I got back in the car.

We talked openly and laughed about how irrational the whole situation was.

“A shopping cart is an inanimate object; it has no feelings!”

“It’s a shopping cart, not a cow!”

“Does it really matter which cart return location you use?”

These days, it’s no longer “mission critical” that I leave the shopping cart with “friends,” but the thought is never far from my mind as I walk it to its destination. On occasion, just for laughs, I still seek out the nearest occupied location and leave the cart with others like it. If the store has mini-sized or specialty carts made just for kids, I make sure the one I return has a friend of its own to ensure it won’t feel rejected for being “different.”

Though it is still the most absurd habit that I have ever personally encountered, it hasn’t left a lasting negative influence on my life. In fact, it has taught me that it’s okay to laugh at myself once in a while; it’s okay to be silly. It also helped me to understand how quickly and significantly one event can impact a person’s life. I don’t think I’ll ever forget my old friend, the lonely cow; I certainly won’t forget how he changed my life without ever meeting face to face.

What's Your Story?

Have you experienced an event that left an unexpected impact on your life? We'd LOVE to hear about it! Email us at stories@awomansvalor.com and let us know if you would like it included on our Stories of Valor page. We look forward to hearing from you!

Turbulent Times

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 21:25:41 GMT

Hope Amidst the Chaos

As you can imagine, my family has felt the stress, anxiety, and uncertainty many of you may be feeling with the chaos going on around us. It’s been challenging keeping up with my personal commitment here, but please know that I pray for each of you daily.

I want to share some scriptures not only related to the upcoming blog post, but also VERY relative to the times we find ourselves living in.

When you struggle with anxiety or worry, commit to learning one thing about God you may not have known, or need reminded of. When we submerge ourselves in the Word, we will find sooo many promises of how He will sustain us through times such as these. We are encouraged not to be afraid or discouraged. And, we are reminded that we are not alone….even while we self-isolate.

If you “do” need help, please visit our Resource Page and reach out to the organization that best fits your situation.

Encouragement from Psalms

Psalm 34:17-20

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken."

Psalm 119:145-148

"I call with all my heart; answer me, Lord, and I will obey your decrees.

I call out to you; save me and I will keep your statutes.

I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.

My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises."

Joshua 1:7-9

“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

This one really hit home for me. The first half is a pretty accurate description of how some of us may be feeling in the midst of the chaos. The second half is a beautiful reminder of who our God is and what he has already done.

Psalm 77

I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted.

I remembered you, God, and I groaned; I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.[ b ] You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak. I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night. My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

“Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?

Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”

Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.

With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. The waters saw you, God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed.

The clouds poured down water, the heavens resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.

Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked. Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

We would also love to hear from you! How are you staying connected in a divided world?

Christmas Blues and Blessings

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 19:15:25 GMT

Holiday Blues

Christmas is time of celebration. It’s a time for family, gift giving, and memory making. Right?

What if it wasn’t? For some the holidays are especially hard. Recent separation from loved ones by death or divorce, poverty, illness, or simply loneliness turns a time of celebration into a time of pain, grief, or emptiness.

I write this for those who struggle to find joy in the holidays. Christmas isn’t about the gifts or decorations. I want to offer you a little hope by sharing the real meaning of Christmas.

Power to Choose

We live in a broken, hurting world. No kidding!! Right? For many, it’s hard not to blame God for the pain. This may be difficult to understand or nearly impossible to accept for some, but God doesn’t want us to be hurting or sick. He also doesn’t want a people to serve Him simply out of fear or obligation. He wants a willing, intimate relationship with each of us. Because of this, we have the power of choice.

As people, we don’t always make the right decisions. Whether they are made by us or others around us, poor choices can introduce pain into our lives. Knowing this, God gave his only son as a sacrifice for us so we would no longer be held captive by the sin and pain of this world.

Unexpected Truths

One of the most incredible truths I have learned about Jesus is He truly understands our pain and suffering because he experienced it himself. He knows what it is to be rejected and alone. He knows the heartache from loss of a loved one. He knows the devestation that accompanies betrayal. Luke 5:16 even says He often withdrew to lonely places to pray.

Growing up in a Christian home, attending church several times a week, taught me about the sacrifice Jesus made when he willingly died on the cross for us. It didn’t introduce me to the God that understood my pain. I never heard about “that” Jesus, the one who was in such agony that he sweat drops of blood and had to be strengthened by an angel to keep going (Luke 22:43-44 ) .

The Greatest Gift

Christmas is a celebration of the greatest gift, the birth of Christ, our Savior. He was born, fully man, to experience the same temptations and pain we do, yet remained fully God to become a holy and blameless sacrifice for us. He was born to lay down his life for us, even though we turn our back on him. He was born to fulfill God’s promise of eternal life and an everlasting love. He was born to die for us, conquering sin and death in this world, be raised from the dead, and return to heaven to sit at the right hand of God as our mediator and defender.

Because of the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus, we have the promise of the return of Christ and reunification with Him. He didn’t promise life would be easy or without pain, but He did promise us eternal life and rest in Him if we persevere and follow Him.

Need Help?

If you need help getting through the holidays, don’t hesitate to reach out to any of the national organizations listed on our Resource Page . If you are hurting, lost, or lonely, please know you are truly loved and never alone.

If you would like us to pray with you, feel free to submit your request through our Contact page. Don’t forget to subscribe for more personal reflection and encouragement!

New Year, New You

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 19:07:32 GMT

New Year Resolutions

We’ve all done it. We make New Year’s resolutions with the hope of becoming a better version of ourselves. Many of us resolve to create a healthier lifestyle with new diets, new exercise programs, maybe even new relationships.

We start out strong, full of passion and dedication, and we do great…for about a week or two. Then, we slip. At first, we quickly recommit to our resolution and get back on track. But, when it happens again, we’re not as quick to turn it around and keep moving forward. With each slip, we find ourselves further away from reaching our goal and more disappointed with ourselves.

Does this sound like you? How often do you feel like you miss the mark or don’t measure up to your expectations, much less anyone else’s?

Never Enough

Have you ever thought you’ll never be good enough? Have you ever felt like a failure or that you’ll never do anything right? You’re not alone.

Have you felt that you deserve the pain you feel or the abuse you experience daily? What about respect? Have you been told you don’t deserve the respect you’re demanding? I have….

Have you been told you’re crazy, unstable, unreliable, or an unfit parent? Did you believe it?

Life is hard as it is. When you add a daily bombardment of negativity, it can seem nearly impossible to avoid a lowered self-esteem or feelings of depression.

Have you been through a time where you feel the struggle is never-ending? No matter what you do to get ahead, you get knocked back or knocked down. You’ve tried; you’ve given all you have, til there’s nothing left. You barely have the strength to stand, much less take one more step forward.

New Year, Fresh Start

Then, the year ends and a new one begins. You’re determined things will be different this time. No more pain. No more rejection. No more being the failure you’ve always been. It’s time for a change!! It’s time to start enjoying life instead of dreading it.

You sit down and write a list of New Year’s Resolutions:

Leave an abusive relationship,
Stop drinking or smoking,
Eat healthier,
Exercise more,
Be a better Mom or better Dad,
Spend more time with your kids,
Be the kind of friend you would want to have,
Go back to school,
Get a better job,
Lose weight,
Start going to church or go back to church,
Keep your house clean,
Stick to your vehicle’s maintenance schedule,
Start or stay on a budget,
Get out of debt.

The list could go on. They are all honorable endeavors, some have the potential to change your life completely. That’s what you want. So, you’re all in!!

Even if all of these things didn’t make your list, any one of them can become overwhelming when you still have to juggle what life continues to throw at you. As much as we would love for it to happen, life doesn’t stop long enough for us to catch a breather.

A new year has started and you find yourself facing the same obstacles that you struggled to overcome last year. So…what do you do?

Be Strong and Courageous

The most important thing to remember is to NEVER GIVE UP!

No matter how hard it gets or how many times you get knocked down, don’t stop trying. Don’t lose hope. If you find yourself in that spot and you’re thinking about throwing in the towel, REACH OUT for help !!

I was in that place a little over three years ago, (but that’s a story for a later post) and found encouragement in the Bible. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you where ever you go” (NIV). We are urged to “be strong and courageous” FOUR times in chapter 1 alone!

It’s important to know that nothing will stop God from loving you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, or how many times you’ve failed, He will still be there with open arms waiting to show you that love.

Romans 8:35-39 says, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Next Steps

Cut yourself some slack. You heard me right. As you revisit your resolution list, chances are high that you will find most of them will take some time and a continued effort on your part. Don’t expect things to be different overnight. It’s been said that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.

Take a look at your list and see if there are small steps you can focus on, or preparations you can make and start there. The items on a New Year’s Resolution list are desired final outcomes, not the journey it takes to get there.

If you’re fighting addiction, I encourage you to visit our Resource page and find an organization you can partner with.

If you’re wanting to get out of an abusive relationship, talk to a local shelter, or even a friend that may be able to help. There are often programs available to help you become independent while keeping you safe.

If your goal is to get out of debt, start with a simple budget and focus on keeping all new spending below the amount of your income.

If you want to spend more time with your kids, look for things you can do together in your local area. They will ALWAYS remember experiences more than they will material things.

If you want to be a better Mom or Dad, set aside time you can spend together, even if it’s just hanging out together at home. Don’t forget to TALK to them.

Obviously, I won’t be able to cover everything on your list here. The important thing to remember is to figure out what small steps you can take to help you reach your goal.

Find Your People

Most importantly, find a support group. Find “your people,” the ones that can support, encourage, and challenge you along the way. A pastor once said that it’s easier to go through the trials of life when you already have a support system in place than it is trying to build one while you’re in the middle of the storm. He was right. I’m living proof that it can still be done when you’re in the middle of the chaos.

A support group can be anything from a circle of friends, church group, counselor, or professional therapy group. You can even find encouragement in some social media groups. So, what are you waiting for?

Find Your People!

The Remnant

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 18:04:13 GMT

Recent Disasters

I originally wrote this post in October of 2021. Sadly, in light of the many recent disasters just in the US, it is still relevant today.

Original Post

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here, but I had to share something God put on my heart today.

Like many of you, I’ve been feeling shocked, heartbroken, angry, even a bit fearful at times over the recent events that have been happening around us. The first round of Covid, now the variant and the many lives lost to this virus. The division in our nation over race, politics, masks and vaccines.

Now, the crisis in Afghanistan.

I’ve cried several times over the past two days, my heart breaking for the people of Afghanistan, some dying as they try to escape the country that once felt like home, others too afraid to leave their homes for fear of injury or death. I’ve seen image after image of people flooding the airport with the hope of survival and a better life. I thought about the Pastors of the underground churches, already in hiding even before this crisis began unfolding and how many don’t expect to survive it. I was feeling very overwhelmed, yet couldn’t get past the image of how many people were running and wondering what the outcome would be if they didn’t run, but stood their ground, UNITED.

In the midst of the tears, I heard the word “Remnant” and was reminded of how often God used the remnant to make an eternal impact on the people and nations around them. (You KNOW I had to look it up after that!)

Remnant Defined

Remnant is defined as a survivor, refugee, what remained or was left behind or “What is left of a community after it undergoes a catastrophe” according to the Anchor Bible Dictionary

But one definition really stood out….Residue, you know that stuff that sticks around no matter how hard you try to get rid of what created it in the first place? Kind of like what is happening to some Christians around the world today.

While reading the articles and watching the videos of the events unfolding in Afghanistan, I found a handful of people that were not running. Instead they were gathering others and preparing to take a stand against the invading enemy. Still others were hunkered down in undisclosed locations, some not able to leave the safety of their home without the risk of death.

The Remnant's Return

GotQuestions.org posted an article that said, “God then relates how His people will turn back to Him as a result of this tremendous display of His strength—His utter destruction of most of Assyria: “In that day the remnant of Israel, the survivors of the house of Jacob, will no longer rely on him who struck them down but will truly rely on the LORD, the Holy One of Israel. A remnant will return, a remnant of Jacob will return to the Mighty God” (Isaiah 10: 20, 21). He goes on to assure the remaining Israelites that they need not fear the Assyrians, for soon He will destroy them.”

How many have we seen turn to God or strengthen their relationship with Hum through this pandemic? How many do you think will give their life to God as a result of what is happening in Afghanistan right now?

I obviously don’t know what is next, but I DO know, without a doubt, that the mighty hand of God will be shown to the world through this. I also know there’s an urgency for us to dig deeper into the Word, to push into the presence of the Holy Spirit and to encourage our brother’s and sister’s. There is an urgency for us as parents to read the Bible with our kids, pray with them and over them EVERY Day…without stopping.

Are you ready to persevere? Let’s Do This!!

Always and Forever

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 05:05:36 GMT

Trigger Warning!!

*This post may be triggering for some as it talks about the loss of a loved one, at times in great detail. If at any time, you feel you need to talk with someone about a traumatic experience you have gone through, please go to our Resource page for help.*

Grief Resurfaced

Eleven years ago, I became a widow, at 33 years old. You would think that by now, the pain of that loss wouldn’t be so great, but it’s really been hitting me hard lately. I don’t know if the extended time of self-isolation has exaggerated those feelings or if single-parenting is taking it’s toll. It could be the recent death of a former co-worker and close friend that has caused that pain to resurface or a combination of it all. Whatever the cause, I’ve been more emotional and have cried more over losing you than I have in a long time.

Today, I had to drive past several locations that had a different memory with you attached to each of them: the first place we ate BBQ together, the place you proposed, then the funeral home where we held the service for you with Boston’s “Hitch a Ride” playing on repeat in the background. My heart ached a little more with each memory. They were a blatant reminder of the hole you left behind.

It’s times like these that writing with music playing seems to help me get my thoughts and feelings on the page. You know how it goes though, every song that comes on is another reminder that you’re gone. I know I’m supposed to be strong; I have been for so long. So, why now? Why does the pain I feel right now, after all this time, hurt just as bad as it did the day I lost you?

I pulled up some old pictures, just so I could see your face and didn’t realize how few we had until I began searching. We didn’t take many pictures while we were together and even fewer with just the two of us. I regret that now.

These are some of my favorites, the night you were finally able to meet your hero, Tom Scholz of the band Boston .

There were so many great things I experienced for the first time while I was with you: buying our first home together, a trailer in Clearwater, Florida (It has since been torn down and an apartment complex built in it’s place), getting a job as a 9-1-1 operator (one of my dreams), our first boat, racing a new Mustang in our old Grand Marquis and winning, my first cameo (a piece of jewelry I’ve always wanted), purchasing the travel trailer, my first trip to Boston, our engagement and marriage.

We went through a lot too: losing our first residence, probation, staying up all night while you went through withdrawals, cancer, chemo, radiation, surgeries (yours and mine), more hospital stays than I care to remember, the fight with family over my son while we fought for your life….just to lose you in the end.

I’ll never forget that day and the desperation, helplessness, and guilt that I felt. You were a fighter, refusing to give up even after your body started shutting down. I wasn’t that strong…

I wrote this last year for a college writing class, detailing my final hours with you. I haven’t shared it publicly, until now. Though I wasn’t physically alone, I felt like there wasn’t another person anywhere that was able to understand what I was going through at that moment. No one could truly understand the pain unless they had been through it themselves. With that being said, I want to acknowledge my youngest sister who was there with me, and the ICU nurse who came by afterward and cried with me.

Not Ready to Let Go

The hospital room was quiet with the exception of the consistent beep of the machines monitoring Dom’s vital signs. Nicole was alone with him, just as she had been through everything life threw at them. They only had each other; there were no friends or family to lean on for support. There was no one to accompany them on this journey as they fought to save his life.

The silence was deafening.

Nicole wraps herself tighter around his motionless body, holding the love of her life close one last time before she has to release him forever. He was a fighter, refusing to give up even now. Nicole wasn’t as strong. She broke down and signed a Do Not Resuscitate order, no longer able to bare his suffering.

Moments before, the nursing staff pressured her to make the decision.

“We need to know what you want us to do, now. There isn’t much time.”

“What are his chances?”

“We can intubate him and have the machines breathe for him if he stops breathing on his own at any time. We need to know what you want to do.”

“Is he going to make it through the night or not?!”

Desperate for the truth, the consequence of this decision weighs heavily on her heart. Her hands were shaking, palms full of sweat, her chest tightens, making it impossible to replace the air in her lungs. “If he’s not, then I’m going to get in the bed with him.

”Their tone softens, not wanting to be the ones to break this devastating news, “Probably not.”

This was happening whether she was ready to face the reality of it or not. His body was shutting down, weary from the fight. Cancer would be victorious after all.

“No…don’t intubate him. I can’t continue to watch him suffer like this.” Her voice fades off as she speaks, the words finalizing his defeat.

“Please forgive me, Dom. I can’t let you do this anymore.”

Nicole climbs into the hospital bed beside him, longing to reveal the depths of her love for him. Each beat of her heart delivering a crushing blow to her chest. Unable to fully embrace him, she rests her right arm over his head and wraps her left arm around him, placing her head next to his.

“It’s ok Dom. I’m right here. You don’t have to fight anymore.”

The words were spoken in a whisper; her voice too weak to speak them aloud.

Just then, Dom lifts his head and pulls her arm under it before laying it back down.

“He can still hear me!”

He had been unresponsive for hours until now! A chill surges through her body as rebellious tears begin to fall, defying their intentional captivity.

“I love you with all of my heart, Dom. I always will. It’s going to be ok. I’m going to be ok. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can rest now.”

An eternity passes with every minute as the hospital equipment begins to warn of his decline. Her heart pounds in her chest almost as loud as his through the machines.

“ Please, not yet! Let me keep him just a little while longer. I’m not ready to lose him. Please, God!”

She is startled when Dom unexpectedly sits up, his eyes fully open and attempts to get out of the bed, fighting against her embrace.

“Let me up! Let me up! Let me up!”

“It’s ok Dom! It’s ok! Don’t get up! Just rest! Please! It’s ok!” She wrestles against his unforeseen strength as she tries to keep him in the bed.

“I will NOT let you die on the floor!!“

Moments later, Nicole feels Dom’s body collapse into hers. He exhales for the last time, his lungs refusing to take another breath. She turns her attention to the heart monitor and watches as each beat takes a little more time to appear than the last. It doesn’t take long before it stops completely and his heartbeat is replaced by the steady alert indicating his fight is over.

“Oh, God, NO! PLEASE, NO!”

Nicole’s heart shatters, no longer able to withstand the pain. Tears pour down her face and settle between their cheeks. She pulls him closer as feelings of utter devastation begin to overtake her.

Caressing his cheek, she gazes into eyes that were once so full of life. Now, they force her to accept a reality they fought so hard against. A soft brush with her fingertips closes them for the last time. She will never escape the moment that life succumbed and death consumed him. He’s gone. His broken body is all that remains, yet one thing still haunts her.

“He doesn’t even look sick.”

Final Encouragement

If you’ve ever experienced this type of loss, I want you to know that you’re not alone, that it’s ok to take as long as you need while you heal. I also encourage you to reach out when you’re having one of those days where it's too much for you to bare on your own.

Most importantly, I want you to know how much God loves you and cares for you. I hope you find encouragement in these scriptures and prayer.

Lord, I acknowledge that I can’t do this on my own; I need you. Help me to feel your presence and comfort. Give me the strength and peace I need to get through this. You are my Rock. Thank you for loving me more than I’ll ever know and for walking alongside me through it all.

Amen.

Psalm 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling (NIV).

Job 29:13 I helped those without hope, and they blessed me. And I caused the widows’ heart to sing for joy (NLT).

Jeremiah 49:11 But I will protect the orphans who remain among you. Your widows, too, can depend on me for help.

Psalm 146:9 The Lord protects the foreigners among us. He cares for the orphans and widows, but He frustrates the plans of the wicked.

1 Timothy 5:5 Now a true widow, a woman who is truly alone in this world, has placed her hope in God. She prays night and day asking God for His help.

A Life for a Life

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 01:39:44 GMT

The Night That Changed Everything

Easter Sunday. It’s the day we decorate eggs and hide them for our kids to find. It’s also the day we eat more than our share of chocolate. But, what does it really mean; why do we celebrate it? More importantly, what does it mean to you?

For Christians, Good Friday is the day we honor the sacrifice Jesus made for us when he gave his life on the cross. Easter is the day we celebrate his resurrection. It’s the celebration of his victory over the cross and the grave, the event that became the foundation of the Christian church and the cornerstone of Christianity itself.

Christianity at Home

I grew up in a Christian home, so Easter should certainly be honored in my home today, right? Well, it’s not that simple. My father was the “fire and brimstone” type, so we heard a lot about how we’re going to hell if we didn’t do the right thing. It was a real struggle for him to say he loved us and I’m not sure I ever heard him say he was proud of me in any way. Our relationship became so strained, that I actually told my Mom if he was the example of what Christianity was, I wanted nothing to do with it.

Growing up in a Christian home also had some benefits that I’ll never take for granted. But, before I finish sharing that with you, I need to tell you this. Because I grew up in and around church and I had already gone through so much, I thought I had a good foundation. I thought I could handle anything life threw at me. I had handled it all up to that point anyway.

That was until I became involved in what became a toxic relationship. You don’t see it at first. It doesn’t change overnight, either. Before I met this man, praise and worship was a HUGE part of my life. It was where I found my strength. He didn’t see it that way though, and chastised me every time I listened to it. You see, he only listened to the old hymns.

Little by little, I stopped listening to praise music. Our relationship was still so new I was doing anything I could to gain his acceptance and love. He didn’t like the kind of church service I wanted to attend either. He refused to go with me and talked so negatively about them I eventually stopped going all together. So much for that strong foundation I thought I had, right?

The next part of this story may be triggering for some, but I feel it needs to be told. If you have experienced similar trauma and feel the need to talk to someone PLEASE go to our Resource Page or contact the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255. You don’t have to go through this alone!!

Trigger Warning

The Downward Spiral

As the years went by, I became less of who I was and more beat down and broken in my spirit. Anxiety was a regular part of my life and I fell into a deep depression. Our relationship began to crumble while I fought with everything I had to keep it together.

We’ve all heard that communication is key in any relationship, right? Well, I tried to talk to him constantly, each time ending with me feeling worse about myself and the whole situation than when we started. I would feel lower than the dirt on the bottom of his shoes and would break down. Only when he knew I was broken, did he begin to treat me differently. He would always swoop in and make it all better.

This went on for years before I began to see the pattern. But, I still didn’t see it as the abuse that it was. Instead, I thought there was something wrong with me. So, I valiantly went on a personal quest to discover what that was!

Is there anyone reading this that has gone down that same path? At the time, I thought I was the only one going through what I experienced every day. I know today, that was never the case.

A Life Without Hope

During my quest for self-discovery, I realized that I had a fear of abandonment, or so I thought. The more I tried to figure out what was wrong with me, the more our relationship began to implode. I became so severely depressed that I decided to take my life. The hardest confession I’ll ever make is that my kids were not even enough for me to want to keep going. I had nothing left to fight with or fight for. I had truly lost all hope.

My partner always kept a loaded gun under the pillow, so I held it while I tried to get up the nerve to follow through. There was only one thing that stopped me. I didn’t want my kids to find me after it was done, so I left with the gun and went to a dark corner of an empty parking lot a few blocks away.

I sat in that parking lot desperately seeking a reason to live. I had never felt more lost, abandoned, alone or broken than in that moment. Here’s where growing up in a Christian home made a difference. I remembered the relationship I had with God many years ago. I had also heard about a local Christian radio station called The Joy FM , so I tuned in. I don’t know how long I sat there listening, but somewhere within those songs, I found enough hope to cry out to God.

I remember what happened next like it was yesterday. Before I said a word, I made the decision that if God answered me, I would rededicate my life to Him instead of taking it that night. Then, in my desperation I said aloud, “God, if you’re REALLY there, and you REALLY do care, I need to know RIGHT NOW!”

Never the Same

I honestly don’t know what I expected to happen, but no sooner than I finished saying those words, I got my answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure of a man appear in the passenger seat leaning toward me and felt an overwhelming love flood my soul. I knew without a doubt at that moment, that He was real, that He loved me, even when I didn’t give him a reason to, and that my life actually mattered….I actually mattered to God!!

I put the gun down, and immediately rededicated my life to Christ. From that moment on, I was no longer going to allow anyone to dictate what music I listened to, what church I attended, or how I served God with my life. I was never going to choose my relationship with a man over my relationship with God again!

Making that decision didn’t take me out of the hell that waited for me at home, but it did give me strength to get through it and a peace knowing I wasn’t walking through it alone. I began reading the New Testament and committed to finishing it, something I had never done before. As I did, I found a God who truly understood my suffering because Christ himself suffered.

Isaiah 53 says this about Jesus:

"My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot, like a root in dry ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him.

He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!"

Isaiah 53:2-4 (NLT)

A Man of Sorrows

Wait, what?? I had never been introduced to that Jesus before, “a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.” God to me, was someone out of reach, someone looking down at me. God was someone who created life and law, someone to be revered, that was it!

I didn’t understand until I began reading the Bible, that Jesus never leaves us as we walk through our struggles because he’s been there himself. He knows what it’s like, and he went through it with no one at his side. He was denied, abandoned, betrayed, and alone, yet he STILL laid his life down for us.

That’s what makes this holiday so special to me. Good Friday is a reminder of how much God truly loves us. It is a reminder of how much He was willing to sacrifice for us, a people who have turned their back on him soo many times. Good Friday reminds me of how Jesus chose to endure suffering for us.

Isaiah continues with this:

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed.

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.

He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth.

Unjustly condemned, he was led away. No one cared that he died without descendants, that his life was cut short in midstream. But he was struck down for the rebellion of my people.

He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.

Isaiah 53:5-9

Easter is the celebration of how He rose from that grave, claiming victory over sin, suffering and death. It is a time to celebrate the opportunity we were given to spend eternity at His side, even though we don’t deserve it.

Isaiah concludes with this:

But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him and cause him grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have many descendants. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands.

When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. (That’s us!!)

I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier, because he exposed

himself to death. He was counted among the rebels. He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.

Isaiah 53:10-12

Final Thoughts

Life doesn’t get easier when you choose to follow Christ. At times, it may even become more difficult. The difference is, you can have a peace that doesn’t make sense for the moment because you KNOW you’re not alone in it. You KNOW that God has you. You KNOW that if he loved you enough to give His life for you, he’s not going to stop when things get tough. You KNOW that no matter what happens in this life, you will spend your eternity with Him! That’s all that truly matters in the end!

Jesus loves you more than you can imagine. His love for you is deeper than there are words to describe. It doesn’t matter what you have experienced or what you have done in the past. He loves you right where you are. There’s nothing you can do that can or will change that. If you would like to know the God that truly understands what you’re going through, the only one that chose to lay down his life for you, I encourage you to pray the prayer below.

Lord, I acknowledge my need for a savior. I can’t do this on my own anymore. Thank you for choosing to lay your life down for me and for loving me in a way I’ve never known. I ask for your forgiveness and I commit my life to you. Lord, help me to know who you are and guide me on the path you have for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

#JesusChangedMyLive

A Night in the Desert

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 05:08:00 GMT

Current Struggle

There is no question about it, we are in unprecedented times for our generation. Before recent events, I challenged you to “find your people,” those that would be an encouragement when life gets hard. Today, we are instructed to practice “social distancing” and “self-isolation..”

Many are struggling to meet their basic needs as store shelves remain empty. People move about their day either gripped with fear and anxiety or carefree and careless. There is great potential for things to get worse before they get better and no guarantee we will ever get back to what we once knew as “normal” life.

To make things more challenging, factor in feelings of depression, isolation, loneliness, and the opportunity for increased abuse behind all of our now closed doors.

Desperation could come easily when the days just keep getting darker and you become more alone with every connection that is severed during this time of self-isolation.

So, here’s a question for you. How many of you have asked where God was in all of this or why he would allow something like this to happen? With that thought in mind, I went back to one of my favorite stories in the Bible: The Exodus.

I’m sure many of us are familiar with Thomas Fuller’s quote, “It’s always darkest before dawn.” As Christians, we cling to the words “joy comes in the morning.” But, are we to read and interpret those literally?

This is where it becomes extremely difficult for me. There is soo much I want to share with you about this, but if I were to share it all, we would no longer have a simple blog post, but a book. So, bare with me as I attempt to give you a condensed version of what I have learned.

Through the Desert

Let’s start by looking at the definition of desert .

To abandon in a way considered disloyal or treacherous ( abandon, betray , neglect, turn one’s back on).
To leave a place causing it to appear empty (neglected, secluded, isolated , desolate, lonely , solitary, godforsaken ).
To fail someone , especially at a crucial moment when needed the most (defect, flee, depart)
It is also a dry, barren area of land characteristically desolate, without water or vegetation (wasteland, wilderness , barren).

There are some pretty harsh words! Wait, that’s where God led his people after rescuing them from Egypt? Why would He do that??

I know, it doesn’t make sense at first. It didn’t make sense to the Israelites either and they fell into that desperation I was talking about. Their reaction always makes me chuckle; it is dripping with sarcasm, fear, and frustration, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?” ( Exodus 14:11 ) None of us are EVER that melodramatic, right?

Exodus 13:17 says that God didn’t lead them on a straight path to the land He promised, but led them through the desert. He did this because they would have returned to Egypt, a place of slavery and persecution, if they encountered a battle. In other words, their faith wasn’t strong enough to trust God in a battle that He knew was coming. Instead, they would have returned to what they knew (their normal) as soon as the battle started.

So, God led them day and night through the desert, never leaving His place in front of them. He provided everything they needed, including food and water where there was none. God was teaching them to trust Him in the desert.

Take another look at those definitions. Do you trust God when you’re walking through a desert ?

Dark Night

Now, let’s take a look at the word night . The first time the word is mentioned in the Bible is during creation in the first chapter of Genesis. ( Gen 1:5 ), “God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night…’

God defined “darkness” as night . How many times do we define trials in our life as “dark days?” Every time we use the word “night” for the remainder of this post, associate it your struggles, your dark days .

Finally, let’s take a look at Joshua 1 : 8-9 , “Keep this Book of Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night , so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. “

You may be asking what any of this has to do with the Exodus. Well, here’s where things really get exciting!!

The Israelites were rescued from a place of torture, persecution, and slavery just to be led out into the desert and eventually toward the Red Sea. Remember, it was God who led them by a pillar of cloud during the day and a pillar of fire during the night (so they could travel by day or night), always staying at His place in front of them.

When they arrived at the Red Sea, there was no way to cross it, and the Egyptian army was closing in fast. They started to panic and turned their anger toward Moses (even though it was God who led them).

How often do you turn your anger, fear, or anxiety on those closest to you?

The Exodus

When the people begin to cry out in desperation Moses tries to reassure them. Exodus 14:13 -14 says, “Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

A couple things I want to point out to you here:

The word Egyptians represents the trials, persecution, slavery, or whatever crisis you may be facing.
Moses instructed the people to “Stand Firm” and “Be Still.” Neither of those indicate any type of physical action.

The very next verse says, “Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”

Wait….What? Are we supposed to stand firm and be still or move on? Which is it?

How many times do you feel lost or confused about what your next move should be?

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, the angel of God and the presence of God withdrew. They were no longer where they had always been, in front leading their people. Now, when you’re getting ready to face a battle, a withdrawal isn’t typically a good thing. It it usually related to a retreat or surrender.

How many times have you felt that God has abandoned you when you needed him the most?

This is my favorite part!! He hasn’t abandoned you anymore than he abandoned the Israelites! Instead, He placed himself between his people and their enemy so He could fight the battle for them. He moved from being their Guide to being their Rear Guard!!

Another Look at Night

Let’s look at three more verses that all reference night :

Ex 14:20 b Throughout the night the cloud brought darkness to the one side and light to the other side; so neither went near the other all night long.
Ex 14:21 …and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land.
Ex 14:24 During the last watch of the night the Lord looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion.

Remember our word “night” and what it represents? In each of these scriptures, it is God who is taking care of the battle, the Israelites needed only to be obedient. Throughout the “night” it was the Lord that protected His people, it was the Lord that made a way where there was no way, and it was the Lord that defeated the enemy.

The words “last watch of the night” is related to “darkest before dawn,” with the last watch being the hardest one. Did you notice what action was taken during the last watch?

“…the Lord looked down from the pillar of fire and cloud at the Egyptian army and threw it into confusion.”

He didn’t even have to say anything and the enemy of His people began to fall apart!!

You may be asking, “What does all of this have to do with me and what I’m going through? This isn’t a Bible story, this is real life I’m dealing with!”

Well, It has EVERYTHING to do with what you’re going through right now and whatever you may experience in the future!

Stand Firm, Be Still, Move On

No matter what you face in life, God is ALWAYS there with you. He may be out front leading you (where you can see and feel him), or He may be protecting you from behind (when you can’t see or hear him) while you do all you can just to keep going, but HE NEVER LEAVES YOU!

When the Isrealites were instructed to “Stand Firm” and “Be Still,” it wasn’t about physical movement. When things get hard, we are supposed to “Stand Firm” in God’s Word and trust Him to fight the battle instead of trying to handle it all on our own (Be Still).

For all of you that have always “handled things” (like me) because you had no one else to rely on, that being still part is one of the hardest things to do. But, I can tell you from experience, when you stop trying to stay in control, you step back and trust Him to work things out instead of only trusting what you can do, He will ALWAYS come through.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to sit back and do nothing. God’s instructions during that time were clear, “Move On.” We’re not supposed to get stuck in fear, panic or desperation. We are to keep moving forward no matter how dark the night seems.

Think about it, the God that created the universe is the same God that only has to LOOK at the enemy to throw them into confusion. That’s the same God that walks beside you each and every day! Trust Him, He’s got this too!

Final Prayer

If you’re dealing with anxiety, stress, anger, or confusion during this time of uncertainty, I encourage you to say the following prayer and dig deeper into the Word. The more you learn about God, the more peace you will find in times of trouble.

Thank you, Lord for your love and guidance. Thank you for providing for all of my needs. Lord, help me to know you more and give me peace in the middle of the chaos that surrounds me. Protect me (and my family) against this virus and remove any fear and anxiety it has brought into my life. Help me to remember that it is You that fights my battles and that I don’t have to face them alone. – Amen.

Resilience

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 03:05:44 GMT

From Tragedy to Triumph

I spent hours thinking about what I would write in my first post. I knew it had to be something that left an impact, something that would set the tone. Then, I found this TEDx talk, "What Trauma Taught Me About Resilience" by Charles Hunt, and knew it was the perfect foundation for this blog. We grew up around very unique circumstances, yet we both experienced something, that unfortunately, seems universal. Trauma.

What is Trauma

" Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences" (Onderko, 2018). Trauma comes in many forms and can occur at any point in our lives. We don't have to live in the worst neighborhoods or grow up in the worst homes for it to leave its footprint on our journey. There isn't a requirement to go through a one-time event that is normally categorized as "traumatic" and it isn't always obvious while it's happening. The reality is, most of us will experience trauma in some form several different times throughout our lifetime. The question then becomes, does it have to leave a "negative" impact on our lives?

"The worst of life couldn't take out the best of me, because I'm still standing here in front of you."

- Charles Hunt

What would you say if I were to tell you trauma can actually lead to strength, perseverance, character, tenacity, determination, and resilience? Would you believe it? Would you believe me if I said that you are not defined by your experiences, but can define how you respond to them? I'm living proof that trauma doesn't have to devour you.

Foundations for My Resilience

Trauma has been stitched into the fabric of my life since I was a little girl, though I was initially unable to identify it for what it was. For most of my young life, we didn't live in traditional housing. Instead, we lived in a tent set up in state parks. I wore hand-me-down clothing and often times did not have lights or running water. Needless to say personal hygiene wasn't much of a priority. I was picked on at every school I attended and had very few friends.

As life continued, I experienced the death of several family members and both of my best friends, one to unintentional suicide. I became a widow at 33 and lost my father in the same way a year and a half later. It wasn't over yet. I went on to experience verbal and emotional abuse and domestic violence that pushed me to the verge of suicide. This led to a nasty divorce and custody battle over our two young children. I am now learning to embrace single parenthood. Would you believe I wouldn't trade any of it, with the exception of how it impacted my kids?

Choose Resilience

I truly believe our experiences play a huge part in molding who we are, but I refuse to believe we have to be defined by them. We don't have to be a victim of our circumstances. We can choose, instead, to persevere through them, even when we don't think we can take another step. But, we don't have to do it alone. For me, the key to my resilience has been my faith. In my darkest hour (a topic for a later post), I realized I wasn't alone and rededicated my life to Christ instead of taking it. Don't get me wrong, things got harder before they got better, but I had hope in a once hopeless situation. I also got connected with a women's group in a local church. Their support truly changed my life.

You Are Not Alone

If you're walking through dark times right now, and you're not sure how or "if" you're going to make it through, I not only encourage, but challenge you to make a commitment to never give up and "find your people!" Get connected, whether it be with a church or other support group, or maybe to a close friend that you have yet to open up to. Whatever option you choose, please know You Are Not Alone! I'll never promise it'll get easier, at least not right away. But I can tell you that as long as you don't give up, even if you can't take another step and only have the strength to stand, you will persevere. Somewhere in the middle of the storm, you will find a strength you didn't know was there. I did. You will too.

I said earlier in this post that my faith is what gave me the hope I needed to keep going. If you would like to know more about Jesus, the God of my Hope, don't be afraid to reach out . I'll be happy to answer any questions and pray with you.

Available Resources

For additional assistance, please go to our Resources page. If you don't see what you're looking for right now, be sure to come back soon! New resources are being added regularly.

Longing to Belong

Sat, 16 Nov 2024 02:32:40 GMT

Looking for Love and Acceptance

Growing Up With Dad

When I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to make my Daddy proud. Being the second of nine girls, he was the only male role model I had most of my life and he was my hero.

He treated his girls the same way he would have treated a son. We lived out of a tent throughout my childhood and were taught to recognize animal tracks and how to start a fire from scratch. Though we never got to go hunting, I still remember the first fish I ever caught. He taught us about gun safety and let me shoot my first gun when I was nine.

My Dad even taught us basic vehicle maintenance so we would never be stranded on the side of the road. We changed tires and alternators several times, but nothing could replace the time I got to tear down a 1969 VW Beetle engine to the block and rebuild it with him. I was the first one to crank up the car after we remounted the engine. Unforgettable!!

No Longer Daddy's Little Girl

Then, I grew up and things changed. I was no longer “Daddy’s Little Girl” and had more disagreements with him than real conversations. I got pregnant out of wedlock (outside of marriage) and he never looked at me the same again. I lost the acceptance of the most important man in my life.

At the time, I didn’t understand the impact that had on my life. Looking back, though, it affected every relationship I had with men from that point on. I began seeking the love and affection I had lost in all the wrong places.

I was sexually active in ways I would be embarrassed to talk about. I didn’t know that I deserved respect in that way and was intimate with men, even when I didn’t want to be, believing that was what I needed to do for them to love me.

To Love is To Respect

By the time I met someone that introduced me to a reciprocated unselfish love, I was afraid to say “No.” Unfortunately, that relationship wasn’t meant to last and I had to let him go.

The next time someone showed an interest in me, I was terrified. Would he still want to be with me if I wasn’t willing to have sex? He wasn’t, and I was devastated, but I found a strength I didn’t know I had. I stood up for myself for the first time, demanding that my body be respected as mine. “I” was the one that decided when I would be intimate and with who I chose to be intimate with (at least most of the time).

I met my first husband in an unconventional way, in a cell phone chat room. (Do they even have those anymore?) We hit it off almost immediately and spent hours on the phone together. Our first face to face meeting was extremely awkward (a story for another day) but we chose to make the best of it and were together for 7.5 years before cancer took him.

During that relationship, I learned about the 5 Love Languages and what I needed as an individual to feel loved. I also learned how hard it was to give your partner love in the way they needed when your needs are very different (a topic for a later post).

Not So Perfect Relationship

When I first met my ex-husband, I thought I had found my life partner, someone who shared my faith and family values. I didn't know how wrong I was.

Everything was great at first. At least, I thought it was. Looking back I can see several red flags I chose to ignore. I was so caught up in the positive attention and affection he was giving me, that I couldn't see or refused to acknowledge his controlling and manipulative personality.

During our marriage, we experienced 3 pregnancies, 1 miscarriage, a cholic baby, sepsis (blood poisoning due to infection), pornography, unemployment, eviction, psychological, financial, and verbal abuse, and I would be chastised over the type of music I would listen to or church I attended.

Little by little, I walked away from my faith in an effort to gain his love and acceptance. The further I walked away from God, the deeper I fell into depression and hopelessness.

Finding Hope

At one point, I had given up. As hard as this is to say, my kids were not enough for me to want to keep fighting to live if “this” is what life was all about.

I cried out to God trying to find a sliver of hope to hang onto. Growing up in a Christian home, I was told He was always there for you. Boy, did I need

Him in that moment! I’ll tell more of that story in a later post, but I want you to know He WAS there for me in exactly the way I needed Him when I needed Him the most.

I chose to rededicate my life to God instead of taking it that day and started digging into the Bible to find out who God was for myself.

The Jesus I Never Knew

In my searching, I found a God who loves me unconditionally, regardless of my mistakes or my past. I found a God that TRULY understands my pain, because Jesus went through it himself. In Matthew 26:38 , Jesus says, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” (NIV) He gets it!!

He was abandoned by everyone that would have been considered his closest friends, and betrayed by one of them. Even his Father turned away from him, unable to look at him on the cross. He was truly alone during the most difficult time he’s ever experienced.

I was never taught about “that” Jesus, the one who went through hell on earth and struggled to keep going. I never knew the Jesus that needed an angel to minister to him before he was able to complete the task that God sent him to do.

Luke 22:43 – 44 says, “ An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” (NIV)

Unconditional Love

I found a God that loved me long before I was born. Ephesians 1:4 – 5 says, “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ” (NLT).

I found a God that loved me so much that He was willing to give His only son as a sacrifice for me….for you. A found a friend in Jesus, who loves me so deeply that he was willing to suffer and experience the pain I felt. He “chose” this so He can not only offer us eternal life with Him, but also to be an effective mediator for us, someone to stand in our defense.

I found the love and acceptance in Jesus that I was looking for throughout my life. This isn’t to say that I don’t want to have a relationship with someone to share this life with. I say this because I don’t “need” that relationship to know I am loved, respected, cherished, honored, forgiven.

I was broken and without hope. When I acknowledged that brokenness and the need for Christ in my life, I surrendered everything to Him . I now have a freedom and joy that I have never known before.

Not Just For Me

You can find that love and hope too! Acknowledge your need for a Savior, ask for His forgiveness and commit to follow Him. Find out who God really is by reading the Bible. I recommend Hebrews, Ephesians, Romans, and the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John as a starting point, but don’t stop there!!

If you’re not sure how to ask God to come into your life, you can say the prayer below. He doesn’t look for us to have it all together or for perfection. He looks for sincerity and the condition of our heart.

“God, I acknowledge my need for a Savior. Thank you for your son Jesus and the sacrifice He made for me on the cross. I ask you to forgive my sins and accept me into your family. Come into my life and lead me. Help me to serve you and follow the path you have set for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

If you prayed the prayer above, I’d love to hear from you! I’m still walking out my journey in Christ but would love to be an encouragement to you along the way!!

A Woman's Valor Blog

New Life in God

Two Forms of New Life

New Life in God

Four Soils, Four Stages of Discipleship

A Letter to All Followers of Jesus

The First Stage

The Second Stage

The Third Stage

The Fourth Stage

Final Plea

A Writer's Cause

I Didn't See It Coming

Everyone Needs a Friend

Unexpected Impact

What's Your Story?

Turbulent Times

Hope Amidst the Chaos

Encouragement from Psalms

Psalm 34:17-20

Psalm 119:145-148

Joshua 1:7-9

Psalm 77

Christmas Blues and Blessings

Holiday Blues

Power to Choose

Unexpected Truths

The Greatest Gift

Need Help?

New Year, New You

New Year Resolutions

Never Enough

New Year, Fresh Start

Be Strong and Courageous

Next Steps

Find Your People

The Remnant

Recent Disasters

Original Post

Remnant Defined

The Remnant's Return

Always and Forever

Trigger Warning!!

Grief Resurfaced

Not Ready to Let Go

Final Encouragement ﻿

A Life for a Life

The Night That Changed Everything

Christianity at Home

The next part of this story may be triggering for some, but I feel it needs to be told. If you have experienced similar trauma and feel the need to talk to someone PLEASE go to our Resource Page or contact the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-8255. You don’t have to go through this alone!!

The Downward Spiral

A Life Without Hope

Never the Same

Isaiah 53 says this about Jesus:

A Man of Sorrows

Isaiah continues with this:

Isaiah concludes with this:

Final Thoughts

A Night in the Desert

Current Struggle

Through the Desert

Dark Night

The Exodus

Another Look at Night

Stand Firm, Be Still, Move On

Final Prayer

Resilience

From Tragedy to Triumph

What is Trauma

"The worst of life couldn't take out the best of me, because I'm still standing here in front of you."

- Charles Hunt

Foundations for My Resilience

Choose Resilience

You Are Not Alone

Available Resources

Longing to Belong

Looking for Love and Acceptance

Growing Up With Dad

No Longer Daddy's Little Girl

To Love is To Respect

Final Encouragement